Review By Haiku: Philomath Culture Edition for September/October/November/December 2012

Television

Louie

Depress and depress

and depress and depress then

sometimes make me laugh.

Movies

Django Unchained*
Inefficient but
good by most standards, par-at-
best Tarantino.

Limitless

Would kill to access

the other eighty percent

of my brain with drugs.

Red River

In case you're tempted,

can't grade lab reports while Duke

goes on his manhunt.

Thor

Now, if I'd just watch

the new Hulk movie, I could

see the Avengers...

Serpico 

Think my new rule on

'70s films is just watch

Lumet's, skip the rest.

Groundhog Day

Bill Murray made peace

with rodents, so much so he

taught Phil how to drive.

Jackie Brown*

Heard the argument

this is Tarantino's best.

Heard it can't see it.

Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Not as expected,

much more happens in twilight

of life than I thought.

The Hitch-hiker

Public domain flick,

deserves more respect than its

fellows on YouTube. 

Glengarry Glen Ross

More rain and cursing

than I judged from cover,

crushed expectations.

The Artist

Based on his last line,

it's a wonder Valentin

could converse off-screen.

Night Train to Munich

Cool ending, and Paul

Henreid plays the opposite

of Victor Lazlo.

A Bronx Tale

Game: Look up current

pics of actors who played C,

guess which is in jail.

Extract

Love the idea

of baiting a spouse so you

can then cheat. Wait... No.

Books

1984
Ignore the movie,
read the book. But not in front
of a telescreen

Notes from the Underground 
Even to dabble
in Dostoeyevsky is to
test your own patience.

100 Heartbeats
Reading Jeff Corwin's
travel tales leaves me jealous
if not more informed.

Sports

The Reds broke my heart,

and now I have none, until

next year. Maybe. Nah.

Suck for Luck, strong for
Chuck. Colts only quadrupled
 my expectations.


*Note: Pulp Fiction > Kill Bill Vol. 2 > Reservoir Dogs > Inglorious Basterds > 
Django Unchained > Kill Bill Vol. 1 > Jackie Brown

Review By Haiku: Philomath Culture Edition May/June/July/August 2012

Just a couple mugs after they offed a postal detective (Appointment With Danger, 1951).  Years later, they'd be rehabilitated and serve as poster boys for LAPD's brand of law and order (Dragnet, 1967).

Disclaimer

Writing a thesis

leaves little time, energy

to accrue culture.

Television

Battlestar Galactica
I'm not exactly
flying through, may as well be
a radio show.

Mad Men

Crazy fifth season.
A lot of change but Glen is
still giving rape vibes.

Girls

Even though I find

Lena Dunham's characters

appalling, I watch...

Community

I like this show but
c'mon! Jack Black mixed in with
allusions to M*A*S*H?

Happy Endings

Holy crap this show
cloned me and all my friends. If
I were a Wayans.

Workaholics

They got sex and drugs
minus sex plus sweet bear coats.
Cath'rine Zeta-Jones.

Movies

The Dark Knight Rises

This movie gives three-
hour thrillride and three-day bout
with Bane voice fever.

Captain America
I'd be paranoid
and blubbery, one Super
Soldier Serum hit.

Black Legion
Here you've a film where
Bogart should have made his name
but he didn't... yet.

 Appointment With Danger
Wait, did I just see
Friday and Gannon on the
wrong side of the law?

No Man of Her Own
"Real" Patrice Harkniss
by actress Phyllis Thaxter:
ladies, rest in peace.

The Devil Inside
OK with "horror
documentary" gag then

remembered Blair Witch...

The Whales of August
Crabby old Bette
with sweet old Vincent and old
Lil, cuter than hell.

Tiny Furniture

See the description

of Girls above because, yes,

it applies here too.

Piranha 3D
Chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp,
toothy fish rip spring breakers
limb from limb. Deserved.

Battle Royale
With one million ways
to die, time allowed for like
forty bloody ways.

Reservoir Dogs 
Sometimes less is more
and, again, saw how much can
come of so little. 

Books

The Plague
 Camus was so cool
that, translated, still has great
vocabulary.

The Lady in the Lake
Typical Chander,
one part substance, two parts style,
twist, turn, twist, turn, solved.

Batman: Year One
What ever happened
to Sarah Essen? Never
made movies I've seen.

Sports

Reds pulling away,
Votto or not, hope Pirates
reach October too.

B-ball fan, you have
no cable? Check Olympic
synch swimming. Same diff.
  

Review by Haiku: Philomath Culture Edition for March/April 2012

Television

Mad Men

Zou bisou bisou.

I see they brought creepy back.

By that I mean Glen.

Game of Thrones

I grade papers through

this show each week but I've seen

many strange bosoms.

Dragnet 1967

Jack Webb was the man,

Los Angeles - the city.

That's where he came in.

Movies

The Men

Speaking of Jack Webb,

he was wheelchair bound and young

in Brando's first flick.

Whisper of the Heart

Whoa, slow your rolls kids,

got a bit ahead of things.

You're in middle school.

Columbo

Oh, just one more thing:

Even young Peter Falk looks

like old Peter Falk.

Tower Heist

Alan Alda as

a jerky rich criminal.

Like I believe that...

Death Race 2000

I don't understand

the cult appeal and yet I

totally get it.

Hoop Dreams

Don't make the mistake

of looking up how things went

after, like I did.

Transylvania 6-5000 

I love Ed Begley

Jr. but this movie is

really quite lousy.

Baseball

Reds climbing back up

standings but Ticketmaster

won't let me go watch.

Review by Haiku: Philomath Culture Edition for February 2012

I realized I kind of like carelessly writing Haikus, I'm faster at writing those than my traditional rambling blog posts, I like the vagueness of the messages I can convey, and it's the end of February.  What does this mean?  The stars have aligned for my first serial feature: Review by Haiku!  Inspired 1) by laziness and 2) by the Review by Haiku: Religious Theorists blog entry from early January.

Below you'll find 17-syllable highlights of some of the popular culture/sports spectacles I took in over the last month:

Films:

Night Nurse: Barb Stanwyck

cuddling Joan Blondell in skivvs -

needed censoring?!?

Drive on Blu-ray, yay

So he drives getaway, yawn

Z z Z z Z...

Bridesmaids not too bad

Worth dollar-and-a-quarter

space-age Redbox charged!

Oscars (Feb. 26):

What is Hugo and

why'd it win all those Oscars?

Destroyed my ballot!

Television:

Wow, Futurama

is better than I recalled,

no bad episodes?

Downton Abbey's too

British for my taste but then

again I still watch...

Mad Men back in March,

got caught up over winter,

could I steal cable?

Books:

Done, as you may know,

with L.A. Confidential,

Read my last blog post!

NFL - Super Bowl Village:

Giant crowd, giant

letters, LMFAO?

What is it they sing?

NFL - Super Bowl (Feb. 5):

Nevermind the game,

Louie slept at Papa Johns!

Village hangover!

MLB - Spring Training:

Baseball's on its way,

Reds favored in the Central,

they'll underachieve...

NBA - Pacers vs. Jazz (Feb. 7):

Weird Utah jerseys

up in the Fieldhouse: Okur,

Hayward and HARPRING!

NBA - Slam Dunk Contest (Feb. 25):

Paul George got ripped off

despite the Bird sticker fail

Really, we all lost...

Review by Haiku: Religious Theorists

Among his "facts," Freud borrowed Ernst Sellin's discovery that that "the Jews, who even according to the Bible were stubborn and unruly towards their law-giver and leader [Moses], rebelled at last, killed him and threw off the imposed Aton religion as the Egyptians had done before them" (Freud's Moses and Monotheism, 98).

Seeing the desperate need for a short creative exercise after some lengthy posts, I've decided to give brief (Haiku) summaries of a few of the more interesting religious theorists I read last semester and their ways of defining "religion" - this is how I intend to remember them, anyway.

Durkheim seemed to think

religion's social but the

people aren't aware

Freud's myths meant to show

religion is neurosis

and Jews killed Moses

Otto's numinous

faked words like mysterium

tremendum, the hell?

Bruce Lincoln's four themes

are "discopraccomminst" if

they're slapped together

The scary thing is I managed to write somewhat coherent, full-on essays describing all four of these theorists.

Further Reading
  The copy of Moses and Monotheism from which I pulled the quote is available in electronic form: http://www.ebooks-for-all.com/bookmarks/detail/Moses-And-Monotheism/onecat/0.html 

Photo Credit
   http://www.wpclipart.com