Here to Save the Day... of THE DEAD

The Day of the Dead - more authentically known as Dia de los Muertos - is only a week away and I realized how little time I have to prepare between now and November 2!  Worse yet, stores like Halloween City have popped up in our neighborhood but there are no offerings specific to Dia de los Muertos.

In an effort to strike a compromise - as I'm sure Halloween lovers have already torn the tags off their Jason masks and sultry nurse outfits - I encourage those without costumes (or with a face open) to don a skeletal mask.

But not just any skeletal mask!  In an effort to help extend the reach of Dia de los Muertos to celebriphilic Americans (like myself), I realized that one approach might be to make the skeletal decor of the day more recognizable.  A huge chunk of the Halloween costume market depends upon pop culture references and celebrities.  Thus, I have started a line of celebrity-inspired Dia de los Muertos skull masks, starting with three of the most familiar (well, familiar to me) faces from Mexico:










Fernandomania continues into the afterlife!  That is, hypothetically will continue, since Fernando Valenzuela is thankfully still very much alive.  Be sure to hold a baseball and glove high above your head so the poor guy has something to look at.  Don't put those eyes to waste! 

I was looking through a gallery of some of Frida Kahlo's artwork the other night.  This rendition incorporates details from a few of the more striking pieces (though they are all rather striking).  In homage to one in particular, Diego and I (1949), the skull of Diego Rivera makes a cameo appearance here.

Finally, here's a mask that can serve at least triple-duty over the next few weeks.  You've got Halloween.  TV news is abuzz with Mitt Romney's poor performance in the race against President Obama to sell Halloween masks.  But the Romney masks are missing two important features: 1) the "Little Face" Mitt, of Tumblr fame and 2) the skull angle!  I know, it's probably so obvious to you now.  You get one day to rest, then it's on to the Dia de los Muertos parties in your LFM mask.  You may or may not know that Romney's dad was born in Chihuahua, Mexico, making him a suitable likeness on a technicality (while also benefiting from Fernando's being-alive technicality).  You almost certainly know Governor Romney as the GOP nominee for US President, though, and therein lies your third opportunity.  Wear a miniature expression of his confidence and enthusiasm across your much larger face when you go to vote.  Note: This mask is perhaps best worn ironically.


If I saved your Halloween/Dia de los Muertos/Election season like I think I did, you're mighty welcome.  You're a good person if you've come to my humble blog (I have filters for that sort of thing), and you deserve the best! 

The Hunt for Red October: A Tragedy

I don't want to say a lot, but I thought maybe there'd be some catharsis in processing a little of what happened in the NLDS last week.  My fellow Reds fans and I are picking up the pieces, and since I made the mistake of really believing in their chances (especially after bringing a 2-0 lead back from San Francisco) it's a pretty sour taste in my mouth.  Anyway, as you'll see, I have at least one more horse in the race.  Maybe I'll follow up on that later and see how I end up, but just a snapshot of my predictions so far show me why I never put money on anything.

MY PREDICTIONS (Revisited):

World Series:  Rangers 4, Reds 2

So my World Series prediction was... wrong.  I did at least pick playoff teams, and even going into Game 5 of the NLDS I made myself believe in the Reds.  Guess I learned my lesson.  Back to negativity, and anything good that ever happens to the Reds in my lifetime will just be a pleasant surprise.  The Rangers finished their collapse a week earlier, and their uncertainty with free-agent Josh Hamilton suggests their door is less open than Cincinnati's.  Maybe I'll have better guesses next year, and maybe I'll even pick the Reds again once my disappointment subsides.  Todd Frazier emerged as Scott Rolen's heir-apparent at third base, sadly emphasizing Rolen's underachievements in the playoffs.  Frazier filled in at first during Votto's injury, though, and the team managed to look good without their star.  He was also responsible for my best memory at GABP this season: with the Reds hosting the Braves in Chipper Jones' last series in Cincinnati, Frazier walked up to the plate to a Sinatra tune and lined a walk-off homer.  The place was electric.

MVPs: Curtis Granderson and Andrew McCutchen

I'm not going to fact-check myself, but I don't think there are any MVPs with averages as low as .232, which was Granderson's line this year.  In the MVP discussion last year, he added 3 more homers (43 vs. 40) at the expense of 30 points off his average (.262 last year).  Not a great bargain.  McCutcheon was actually in the hunt for the batting title and led the NL in hits.  I felt pretty good about this guess but it looks like McCutchen and Posey were trending in opposite directions at season's end.

Cy Youngs: Justin Verlander and Tim Lincecum

With Lincecum pitching out of the bullpen against my Reds and coming of a season leading the NL in losses and runs allowed, I didn't make the safe prediction I thought I did.  Verlander, though, may redeem me.  He looks virtually unhittable in the playoffs, and he's riding momentum that started in the final weeks of the season.