Hating on Suburban Apartment "Life"

This is where I'd like to live...

Right up there...  And let me tell you why, in the uncharacteristically (and unnecessarily?) strong language of loathing - hate* speech:

I hate* commute-style driving...

...same thing, every day.  Same roads.  Waiting at the same off-sync traffic lights.  Sharing the road with the same reckless jerks.  Squeezing into the same lousy parking lots and garages.  A depressing process on repeat.  I've tried to make the best of having to commute by driving (and especially parking) during campus down times and taking alternate routes.  But now I've run out of intriguing angles from which to take cell phone pictures at red lights...

...so I'm ready walk or take the bike.  I'm landlocked between two big highways and just out of reach in my current locale, but with any luck I'll find a new place with access to downtown.  At the very least, it'd be nice to have bike lanes and sidewalks as givens.  Right now, none of the following are within reasonable/safe walking distance: groceries, post office, library, parks, retail anything.  Give me just a few of these options (major bonus points if I can work and live in the same area) and I'll be thrilled.  If I could do walking errands just once or twice a week my exercise, fresh air, stress-relief, and vitamin D stats would be way up from their present levels.

I hate* urban sprawl...

...and generic suburbia.  I've become stuck in the inefficient mid-range between my two visions of ideal (and, arguably, green in their own senses) living space...

• The wilderness - no neighbors for miles, living off the land.
• The urban jungle - could be greener, but high population density can be unwittingly eco-friendly.

...so from here I'd gladly gravitate inward toward true city life.  Even if you pack in people to every side, and stack them above and below, I'll waive my misanthropy clause for the sake of convenience.  For my complex, I have a pretty nice spot (hand-picked) with a honey locust tree near my south-facing (see: natural light) porch.  But set me above a business where I can people-watch in a historic neighborhood, or put me a few floors up in Indianapolis' downtown proper and there could be quite a lot to observe.

I hate* cookie-cutter apartments...

...with paper-thin walls.  I can endure older appliances (it's not like the "modern" machines in typical apartments are all Energy Star), because there's at least an excuse for their inefficiency.  Where a nice retrofit has been done in an old building, I'd be glad to lend rent money in support of the efforts.  A solidly-built, well-insulated space could decrease the heating bills and neighbor noise, and an older building with some character would be a fun place to host, show off, and occupy day-to-day.  Throw in a cool view from the window and a multi-purpose use of space (e.g. placement above a restaurant, shop, or office) and I'd be a happy camper.

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*  Hate is a strong word, I know that.  I was going to qualify and soften my word choice in this footnote, but then I realized that it's reasonably accurate and more interesting to read this way.